I’ve had several friends who’ve given serious thought to retiring in Mexico, and I know this is a topic of interest to many aging boomers.
With that in mind, I though it would be helpful to post the following press release I ran into this warm Friday afternoon:
Retirees in Mexico Cut Off, Study Says
They Live in Enclaves with Little Contact with Home or with the Mexican Mainstream
Montreal, Quebec – June 2, 2010 – Baby boomers retiring in Mexico may find it’s cheaper to live there than in Canada or the U.S., however, a study suggests retirees are often isolated both from their families back home – and from the mainstream of Mexican life.
The study, by Jesse O’Brien of the University of Calgary, will be presented at the 2010 Congress for the Humanities and Social Sciences taking place at Montreal’s Concordia University. O’Brien’s study looked at how Canadian and American retirees in a small, unnamed town in Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula have adapted to life as expatriates.
“It’s an extremely important topic as baby boomers come of retirement age,” says O’Brien, adding that many people will want to retire somewhere warm and cheap. He adds that living abroad will become especially attractive if the value of people’s pension plans drops. “Moving to a cheaper place like Mexico is going to become a viable option for some people,” he says.
But moving to a new country – even if it’s an inexpensive tropical paradise – is never easy, and O’Brien says people go through several phases as they adapt to their new life. They start out, he says, by thinking they’re going to be living like kings in paradise; eventuality, reality sets in.
For most expatriates, reality is that they end up living in a pleasant but isolated enclave.
O’Brien says the expats in the community he studied had essentially recreated a North American lifestyle in one small corner of the Yucatan. “They are living exactly the same life they’d live at home, but in a different location,” he says. Most “absolutely love” the life, but his study showed some problems.
The first, he says, is that the expat community is negatively affecting the local population “even though they don’t notice it themselves.” For example, he said the expats often make no attempt to learn Spanish, and expect to be dealt with in English. And their relationships with the locals are based on service, not friendship. As a result, says O’Brien, the expats’ relationship to the locals is often condescending.
He also explains that expats have surprisingly little contact with their families back home. “It’s kind of shocking,” he says, adding that most people he talked to report that missing family members is the most difficult part of living abroad. Part of that may be due the fact that the community he studied was not on the tourist circuit, and therefore not as easy to get to as some of the cities or resorts.
On the plus side, O’Brien says the fact of living in an enclave and being cut off from family results in the creation of unusually strong community ties. People who wouldn’t normally meet back home are thrown together, and because of the circumstances, friendships develop.
O’Brien notes the case, for example, of a burly former biker who became best of friends with an elderly gay man who had moved to Mexico to start a bed and breakfast. The fact of being North Americans together in Mexico often trumps other differences, he says.
In many respects, this study interests me because it’s long been my feeling that aging boomers (as well as younger people) in the United States are becoming more and more isolated, even within their own communities and neighborhoods.
I mean, seriously, when I was growing up in the 50′s, everyone in the neighborhood knew everyone else.
We kids ate lunch at each others house, with our moms rotating that duty during the summer.
Our moms visited each other mid-morning to have coffee and to talk.
Life has certainly changed. I’ve lived in my current neighborhood for twelve years now. It’s sad to say, but I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of neighbors I’ve actually talked to enough to say I know something about them and their lives.
And this isn’t because I’m unfriendly… I’m not.
Taking breaks from my work-at-home job, at various times during most days I walk one or more of our three dogs, strolling a 1.3 mile circuit around the subdivision from mid-morning to dusk.
Once in a great while, a neighbor will be outside, but it’s a very rare occasion when one of them has the interest (or, more likely, the TIME) to stop and shoot the breeze.
There’s a great deal more to all this, of course, but the point is that we’re all becoming increasingly isolated… and it doesn’t matter if we’re living in Mexico or in a settled old suburb in a small town in North Carolina.
And I think that’s a terrible shame.
If you have thoughts or experience about retiring in Mexico or about the topic of aging and isolation, I hope you’ll use the comment section below to share your knowledge. 
I live in Canada, and I think isolation is a problem in many societies. I probably know more of and more about our neighbours than anyone else around — and it is mostly because I walk my dog a couple of times a day, frequently rescue OTHER people’s critters who have got loose, and stop to talk to people whenever it is possible.
I also like to shop in the local community, patronize local restaurants, coffee places, etc. Even taking the bus (which I do most of the time) is a way to create a little community of people who know you. I have found that taking the bus abroad — when most visitors resort to taxis or escorted vehicles — is a fabulous way to meet people and connect with the local community. It usually provides a fair adventure in getting to your destination the long way around as well. Not to say that it can’t be a bit daunting at times!
Anyway, I feel sorry for people who move abroad and then keep themselves apart and don’t participate in the local language and culture. They are missing so much — but I wonder how much they connected with the people around them at home?
A few thoughts….
Anne
Another great article, Chet…and right up my ‘alley’.
I am a German who came to Spain by way of Belgium (where I lived with my Belgian husband until he passed away).
Spain was always my dream and I live here quite happily in the place I want to be…on a part of the coast that is not so overrun by foreigners (mostly Brits or even Germans) and yes, Spanish is spoken everywhere and not English – unlike further down south in the Costa del Sol.
The article in your post highlights the two MAJOR problems foreigners are themselves at fault with when they move to their dream retirement country: attitude and assumption.
The attitude is contact thru services only – a Them vs. Us mentality and assumption – Everyone Must Speak My Language (why should I bother – I am so superior – or plain naive).
The key to contact beyond service (buying food, repairing the car) is communication and chit chat with the shop owners, neighbours – anyone. That friendly chit chat can turn into casual friendships and little niceties…that turn into lasting friendships.
But…if you never bothered with the language…that isn’t going to happen. No one expects perfection (Spanish speakers globally are notoriously forgiving) and everyone delights in an attempt to communicate. And THAT opens doors.
When I came here I made it a point at first to avoid my countrymen as my sole contact. I wanted Spanish aquaintences and friends. Later I had some English contacts and friends (at first mostly me translating for them!!!)
Now, I have a blend of friends, but mostly Spanish…and that is just as I like it. I live here 10 years now.
My secret is…I am multilingual…I came here speaking a very basic Spanish. Later I went to an official school for languages for a few years and today I am fluent.
My second secret is I am by nature friendly and outgoing. I came here for the culture, the history and the people. Sun and inexpensive was secondary. Unfortunetly, the typical foreigner comes here to join an enclave and live cheaply…..with only (a big IF) a passing interest in anything else.
One has to have a genuine interest in any country one wants to immigrate to. Otherwise, one is just as bad as the very immigrants one criticises “back home”.
The issue of isolation and loneliness for seniors is one that affects so many of our communities – big and small alike. My mother remained in the suburb we grew up in. Like so many of her generation, she refused to leave the family home. Unfortunately, many of her friends eventually moved or passed away that she ended up without the support network that she had depended on for so long. When she had to stop driving, well, that added to the problem. Her situation is not unique but certainly one that I will try to navigate around for myself.
The probable answer – a retirement community. But what I’ve found is that if you wait too long, it can be a nightmare of an adjustment and just too stressful for an elderly person.
This is a huge issue for us boomers. I really don’t know what I want to or will be able to afford to do. It’s interesting to read what others are up to! Nice to see folks exploring other options other than what our parents faced.
I also will be retiring in Mexico and fortunately, I speak both languages, English and Tex-Mex. I have visited Mexico and have been able to meet many families there in the “colonia” where I will be living. I have made efforts and still am, to meet new people via FaceBook and other means.
I do not intend to be “isolated”. I know that I must adapt to their ways and means of life so I do not interfere with their culture. By my choosing, I am now living in their country and not in mine.
I live in Alamos Mexico, a colonial town of about 8,000 with approximately 400 expats. I was living in a big northern city in the US and felt trapped in my little house and had no social contact other than right next door. In Alamos it is just the opposite, I have far more friends and social events both with expats and the locals.
I know enough Spanish to get arounds and obtain what I need. I think being humble and really respecting the local population is how you start fitting in. Its not just the language, its customs and respect. If they find, as an example, wearing shorts in public places rude then do not wear shorts. Its all about being at the same level they are if you do not want to be seen as someone who is there to exploit. I might add that bargaining follows the same rules as in the US, you bargain at garage sales not at a grocery store.
Ok, I got carried away, back to the topic. At the end of the day its all about what you want. If its the villa and cook you want then you are probably setting yourself up for some isolation just like you would in a gated community. If you just want to live simply and place yourself with a wide mix of people you will have more friends and definately will get more visitors from up North because it will be more fun and real.
Interesting posting Tom, I have met many americans in Alamos and they all have different approaches about their relationship with the mexican community. Some are friendly to mexicans and other feels like we should bow to them. I like what you say about being humble and respectuf. Good for you.